Lately I haven’t been able to write, lately I haven’t been able to read, lately finding calm amongst the chaos has become one of life’s greatest challenges.
Nine months ago I found myself unwell and unable to work, and I thought it would be a great chance to get into blogging, and to begin with, it went well. I felt like I had purpose again, and was enjoying getting online and doing something I love. But then we got fires in Australia, and I couldn’t go to the beach, because it was too smokey and hot. Then covid hit, and well, that changed the game.
Suddenly enough was happening around me that calm was difficult to find. Pleasure in things that I loved just wasn’t there. All the spiritual work in the world hadn’t fully prepared me for these moments in time, so I did what we all did, and grieved.
I grieved the loss of a world that was, even if it wasn’t truly working. I grieved for the life I had, unsure I could ever get it back; with my health in uncertainty, returning to nursing, a profession that has become high risk, suddenly didn’t feel like a good option.
I had lost my calm. So I didn’t write, I didn’t meditate, and I didn’t spend time in nature. All those tools that used to work, stopped working.
But time has passed, and time, does heal. I find myself back in a more grounded place, able to write, able to read, able to meditate, and able to sit in the volatile energies that remain on the planet. Calm for myself, has returned.
For many though, calm has not returned, and it may not for a while. As a planet, we are grieving, and some will move through this process quickly, some slowly, and like all grief processes, it’s a very individual and unique experience. It cannot be rushed through, or ignored, or ran away from.
There is likely no magic solution to that sense of calm returning, and even when it returns, it can be lost again quickly, as the world is seemingly less predictable than it once was. Chaos, has become the new normal.
So for those still feeling volatile, and working through deep emotions, I honour you where you are. It is exactly where you are meant to be; don’t rush it, don’t run from it, and don’t be angry with it. Just allow it to be, and given the right amount of time, calm will return. In the meanwhile, be patient with yourself, be loving with yourself, and be for yourself what you wish others could be for you.